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Deal With It or Leave It (Welcome to Confession Session)

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“I get it! RAs have lives too,” I continued as I moved away from the microphone stand. “But seriously, you should balance your schedule better so you can be a better leader for everyone. Making yourself scarce doesn’t make situations go away.”

“You tell it girl!”

“So true!”

Adrenaline pulsed through my body as I stood up there, with all eyes on me. It wasn’t really comedy that was coming from my mouth, but then again, it was Jesse’s fault for making me go up and talk.

I heard a pager go off in the audience and a few people turned around to see Emma leaving abruptly with her head lowered. She muttered an apology about the distraction and something about needing to answer a call. It was a perfect excuse. I glanced over at the host who was politely tapping her watch, meaning I needed to wrap things up for the next person. I turned back toward the audience.

“I know this wasn’t comedy per se but Jesse said do something,” I said. “So I did. Thank you.”

I walked off the stage to rowdy cheers, yells, and applause as the host took over again and grabbed the mic. Part of me was grateful that Emma wasn’t here but I knew I still had Jesse’s wrath to deal with. As I neared the last row, Jesse stood up abruptly and nodded at the door with lips pressed into a taut line. I followed him through the doors of the student lounge and we walked back to our dorm.

I avoided meeting his eyes as we walked up to the crosswalk to the dormitory area of campus. He punched the button his with fist and crossed his arms over his chest as we waited. As we stood there, he glanced straight ahead and finally spoke.

“My material is 2009?” he asked. “That’s what you think?”

“Jess, don’t kid yourself,” I said. “You sounded like a horny 13 year old who wants action when he can’t have it. Everyone talks about sex and its overrated in my book. It’s a cheap trick.”

Jesse turned toward me and I could see his dark eyes flash out of the corner of my eye. “Oh I’m sorry it doesn’t suit you,” he retorted.

“It’s your own damn fault for making me get up and talk in the first place,” I grumbled. “What the Hell did you want me to do?”

Jesse threw up his hands in frustration and yelled, “I don’t know! How about doing those impressions you can do? Maybe imitate someone! It’s comedy night for–”

“Yeah well that’s all I could think about when I got up there,” I snapped as I began crossing the street. “So you know what? I’m sorry that your material was bad and I’m sorry that your ego was bruised by what I said. Maybe its time to get some new material!”

“Maybe its time you quit getting your borrowed boxers in a bunch!” he snarled from his spot across the street.

I whirled around and clenched my fists. “For the memo, I don’t borrow boxers or even wear them! And your insults are even worse than your material.”

Jesse opened his mouth to retaliate but I beat him to it. “I gave the truth Jesse and if you can’t handle it, well that’s your problem!”

I stormed off toward my building, leaving Jesse standing on the other side of the street. He could wait for the next stupid light for all I cared.

Blood pounded in my ears as I walked up four flights of stairs to my floor and turned left for my wing of the floor. I fumbled with the door as I punched in the wrong code and swiped my ID card to open it. The door keypad flashed red, meaning that my code was wrong. My roommate Devon swung the door open and let me in before I could try my code again.

“Thanks Dev,” I muttered.

“So what’s got you in a foul mood?” she asked as she closed the door.

“Jesse dragged me Comedy Wednesday,” I said as I reached for my Calculus book. My hand went to my desk lamp then I remembered the bulb was burned out. I pulled my desk drawers open and dug around for the box of spare bulbs, finding them in the middle shelf. Screw you Jesse, I didn’t need your light bulb.

“Was it his material?” Devon asked as she sat down on her bed.

“Partially that but then he pushed me on stage to do some kind of comedy act,” I said. I unscrewed the old bulb and began replacing it with the new one. As I tightened the new bulb into the lamp, I continued. “I ended up turning my time on stage into an angry confession rant.”

“About?”

“Jesse’s material and Emma’s lack of availability,” I replied. I replaced the lamp shade and clicked the light on.

Devon clapped slowly and I looked up at her. “Good work Mac,” she said. “Emma needed to hear it from one of us sooner or later. And as for Jesse, I think every girl gets turned off by his constant sex talk. I was wondering when a girl was going to shut him down about it.”

I shrugged my shoulders and settled into my desk chair as I cracked open my Calculus book. “Thanks Devon,” I murmured. “Now I gotta survive another exam with a better grade or else Mom’s going to scream.”

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