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Hardest Thing to do is to Say I’m Sorry (Welcome to Confession Session Chapter 11)

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“How was your Brother-Sister Day?” Devon asked me when I got back. “I hope it went better than it started in here.”

“Yeah it was good,” I replied. “We watched a movie and had breakfast. It was good catching up with him.” I sat down in my desk chair and decided to check my Facebook page.

Devon got off of her bed and slammed her heavy Math book shut with a thud. She came over to me and watched as I checked for messages and updates. She placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Since it sounds like it was such a great day, I won’t put a damper on it,” she said.

I looked away from the screen and creased my brows at her comment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Devon coughed and made a face. She looked uneasy about telling me whatever she had to tell me and I nodded at her.

“Just spit it out Dev,” I said. “What’s up?”

Devon shifted her feet and gripped her other arm as she began telling me her news. “Jesse stopped by when you were out. He was hoping to talk to you but I said you were out with your brother. He wouldn’t say what he needed to talk to you about, but I’m guessing it was pretty important.”

I fiddled with the tail of my braid and Devon continued, “I’m sorry Kay, I didn’t mean to ruin your fun day. I know its been…a month I think, since you last talked to each other. …You know, you don’t have to talk to him right away. You could give it a couple of days.”

“Did he seem angry?”

“Nope, he seemed kind of quiet and almost…almost as if he was sorry,” Devon said.

***

Thursday was a blur and filled with more of Rachelle’s snotty complaints about bad stories. Friday finally arrived and I still hadn’t talked to Jesse.

My alarm clock went off at 8:45 AM and I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Just go and get the talk over with.

I sat up and reached for my cell phone which had a new text message from Jesse.

Jesse

When are you free to talk?      Sent at 8:20AM

I typed back Now.

***

I drummed my fingers on the bench as I waited for Jesse to show up. He had told me to meet him on campus by the stupid abstract scribble sculpture that was donated by some rich donor. The wind cut across my face and I zipped my jacket up to the neck collar to keep warm. Surprisingly, it was pretty gloomy-looking today for the west coast.

“Hey,” Jesse said as he sat down beside me. He had a bouquet of white daisies in his hand, each one had a piece of paper with a string tied onto the stem.

Before I could ask what the flowers were for, he cleared his throat and pulled one from the middle to hand to me. He prompted me to read the paper attached to it.

I was too proud to admit that I was wrong.

He handed me another daisy once I looked up. I overstepped the boundaries we set between the two of us. 

This process continued 4 more times as he handed me the daisies.

I have no idea what I am to other people. Funny seemed like the natural choice to go with.

I suck at being a good boyfriend. Ask any of my ex-girlfriends and they will tell you.

I hate my dad right now because he decided to leave my mom.

I have never slept with anyone. I might talk big but I haven’t done anything yet.

The last one made me raise my eyebrows and I looked over at him.

“What about that girl you brought back to the building?” I asked.

Jesse made a face and leaned back against the bench back. “Her? That’s Dana – she’s in my lit class and she claimed she needed to study with someone for the next exam. I did better on the last exam than she did so I guess that’s why she approached me. Then she spent the entire session talking about her life and girl stuff and I snapped at her that we were supposed to be studying. Then she left in a huff to hang out with someone else.”

I snorted at the thought of Dana throwing a big temper tantrum after having someone else shut her down. “Yeah I saw her the next day when I came back from hanging with Dany. There was another guy looking for her.”

“I’m guessing she wanted something from him or the other way around,” Jesse speculated. “Either way, I could care less about her. She probably flunked the latest lit exam anyways. No wonder she’s failing.”

“So what now?” I asked him.

He looked at me and sighed. “Can we go back to square one? I’d like a do-over.”

“That works for me,” I replied. “Good to have you back old friend.”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

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