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Tag Archives: young love

I Never Did Want You to be Mine

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Disclaimer: F-bomb appears towards the end of the song.

This was one of the songs I discovered through Amazon’s Rising Stars section back in March. It has become my anthem for romance and love as a whole. Lately I’ve been playing it more, ever since I’ve been dealing with someone who has made it clear that he’s interested in something more than the acquaintanceship we currently have.

To put things in perspective, I’m in my early 20s. He is in his early 30s. While it might not seem like a big gap to some of you, the emotional gap is apparent. A mutual friend implied that he’s looking to settle down soon, especially since he’s at the age where most our mutual friends are either married, looking to get married, or they’re in a stable relationship.

Maybe it seems selfish but I’m not interested in chasing love at this point in my life because there are other goals I wish to pursue now in my life.

Right now I’d like to work towards writing more fiction if not do some soul searching via nonfiction blurbs from my life or someone else’s life. Like many people, I’m trying to find where I best fit in the working world, while paying off college loans. While I hate burning bridges unless I need to, I don’t feel inclined to lead him on.

Have any of you been in an awkward one way relationship with someone older or younger than you?


But These Wounds Won’t Heal

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I first came across the song Middle of the Bed as a free download from Amazon. The breathy vocals, soft guitar, and vibrating twang of the synth in the background has triggered a variety of memories and thoughts whenever I listen to it.

Sometimes I recall my first trip to Anza-Borrego Desert with my family and eating a packed lunch in the car at Font’s Point. The synth in the background evokes the bumpy, off-road path of Font’s Point with dust kicking up behind the wheels. The warm sound of the song makes me think of the warm air during the spring/summer period and the heat waves that radiate in the distance.

Other times, the lyrics remind me of two guys who flirted with me in high school and college. Both were charming in their own way but as it turns out, I was used as a girl to practice their flirting techniques on before they’d move onto someone more their speed. No dates ever came out of the interactions with them nor did any close physical contact. Just when I thought I had forgotten them, they came back into my life whenever they were single and eager to get out of the single phase.